Funny Status for Whatsapp and Facebook

Are you guys looking for some of the funniest WhatsApp status and images all over the internet? You have landed on the right page as we present you the biggest collection of funny status for WhatsApp which you can share with your family and friends to make them laugh.

These are some of the funniest WhatsApp messages which will make your stomach hurt by laughing so hard.

Check out the list of Funny status for Whatsapp below.

Best Funny Status for Whatsapp

1. “Take my advice, I don’t use it anyway.”
2. “I would lose weight, but I hate losing.”
3. “49% of all statistics are worthless.”
4. “Never make the same mistake twice, There are so many new ones, Try a different one each day.”
5. “I don’t go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds me.”
6. “Just saw the smartest person when I was in front of the mirror.”

   

7. “My teacher today gave a 45-minute speech about not wasting time.”
8. “Never laugh at your wife’s choices. You’re one of them.”
9. “Life is too short to be serious all the time. So if you can’t laugh at yourself, call me I will laugh at you.”
10. “Marriage is a workshop where the husband works and the wife only shops!”
11. “Men have feelings too. For example, we feel hungry.”
12. “Adding you as my friend doesn’t mean I like you, I did it just to increase my friend list.”
13. “All the life I thought air is free until I bought a bag of chips.”
14. “Dear problem, Please give me some discount I am a regular customer.”
15. “Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.”
16. “Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.”
17. “You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. And, you also tell me you love me, so now I’m scared!!!
18. “At least mosquito’s are attracted to me.”
19. “You can never buy love, but still you have to pay for it.”

    

20. “Attitude is like underwear Don’t show it just wore it.”
21. “I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.”
22. “It is almost impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.”
23. “Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it’s a brighter day.”
24. “You are like my brother but from a different mother.”
25. “Men shouldn’t hide weakness, they should kill it.”
26. “You never know what you have until you clean your room.”

Also Check – Cool Status for Whatsapp

Funny Whatsapp Status Messages

Check out these awesome funny status for WhatsApp.

1. “Life is too short. Don’t waste it removing pen drive safely.”
2. “I’m so poor I can’t even pay attention!”
3. “For you men who think a woman’s place is in the kitchen, remember that’s where the knives are kept.”
4. “I should have come with a manual. I confuse myself.”
5. “As long as there are tests, there will be prayers in schools.”
6. “I really want to work so hard. But being lazy is so much fun.”
7. “Thank God there is No Hindi version of WhatsApp otherwise Last Seen would be Antim Darshan”
8. “If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.”
9. “Wants to know how the hell I can remember words to songs from years ago but can’t remember what I went into the next room for!”

   

10. “Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.”
11. “I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.”
12. “Help!! Whatsapp is using me.”
13. “When everything’s coming your way, you are in the wrong lane.”
14. “I always learn from the mistakes that others make by taking my advice.”
15. “The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.”
16. “Someone asked me, what’s your relationship status? I replied, Still looking for a FREE Wi-Fi connection!”
17. “Of course its heavy, thats why they call it weight.”
18. “A pint of sweat will save a gallon of blood.”
19. “Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen.”
20. “Never say the skys the limit when there are footprints on the moon.”
21. “Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back!”
22. “When a bird hits your windshield, have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?”
23. “Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother and we should respect her!”

    

24. “Coins always make a sound but the currency notes are always silent! That’s why I’m always calm and silent.”
25. “Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I’m tired of solving them for you.”
26. “With great power comes great electricity bill.”
27. “Every time I have my picture taken I get hungry because I hear ‘cheese’ so I start to think of a nice cheese sandwich.”
28. “A good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures for anything.”
29. “People say you cannot live without love, I think oxygen is more important.”

Funny Status Lines

1. “My handwriting isn’t bad. I am just preparing to become a Doctor.”
2. “Shopping is an art. I am an artist. Respect Please.”
3. “If you can’t convince them, confuse them and run.”
4. “I don’t know why I keep a plastic bag at home full of plastic bags.”
5. “I really need a day between Saturday and Sunday.”
6. “Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain’t so hot.”
7. “You must do what others don’t, to achieve what others won’t.”
8. “The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.”
9. “Well I could agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”
10. “Dear automatic flushing toilet. I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I wasn’t done yet.”
11. “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”
12. “That awkward moment when the awkward moment gets even more awkward.”
13. “Dear God, there is a bug in your software. it’s called Monday, please fix it.”

    

14. “It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”
15. “Do not drink and park accidents cause people.”
16. “Strong people don’t put others down. They lift them up and slam them on the ground for maximum damage.”
17. “Two wrongs don’t make a right, take your parents as an example.”
18. “Don’t compare yourself with anyone in this world. If you do so, you are insulting yourself.”
19. “My wife told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy. I got drunk.”
20. “Drink till you become the greatest philosopher of your own world!”
21. “Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.”
22. “Everyone is beautiful in their own way because God makes no mistakes.”
23. “The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants.”

    

24. “Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe, so basically a clown ninja.”
25. “It’s not how we make mistakes, but how we correct them that define us.”
26. “Light travels faster than sound. That’s why people appear bright until they speak.”
27. “Marriage is subject to market risk.”
28. “The essence of romantic love is that wonderful beginning, after which sadness and impossibility may become the rule.”
29. “I can’t place anyone above you but I can place myself above you, not to be a master but to be your shield and always protect you.”
30. “My ex had one very annoying habit. Breathing.”

Funny Whatsapp Status Ideas

1. “In my house, I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision-maker.”
2. “Everybody wishes they could go to heaven but no one wants to die.”
3. “You’re beautiful until your Photoshop 30 day trial has gone.”
4. “I’m really good at stuff until people watch me do that stuff.”
5. “Why is it so easy to fall asleep in class than in bed?”
6. “I love my six packs so much; I protect it with a layer of fat.”
7. “Whatever you do always give 100 %. Unless you are donating blood.”
8. “Today morning when I was driving my Lambo, the alarm woke me up.”
9. “I will marry a girl who looks pretty in aadhaar card.”
10. “If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.”
11. “I remember when my old Nokia phone said I had a low battery it meant that I had 2 days to find a charger.”

    

12. “A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She changes it more often.”
13. “Girls are like the police. Even when they get a hold of all the evidence, they still want to hear the truth from you.”
14. “I don’t care what people say or think about me, at least am attractive to mosquitoes.”
15. “Talking to myself because I am my own consultant.”
16. “I want someone to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.”
17. “I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.”
18. “For maximum attention, nothing beats a good mistake.”
19. “When someone hates you for no reason. Give them a reason.”
20. “The hardest thing I ever tried was being normal.”
21. “It’s always the wrong person who teaches you the right things in life.”
22. “Most of the fruits I know now are just because of the shampoo I use.”
23. “The easiest way to feel smart is by sharing smart quotes.”
24. “Sometimes it hurts physically to hold in my sarcastic comments.”
25. “If you don’t want a sarcastic answer, don’t ask a stupid question.”

More Funny Status for Whatsapp

1. “Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.”
2. “Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”
3. “Facebook is the only place you can write whatever you feel on a wall. Facebook won’t stop asking what’s on my mind even if I tell it, it keeps on asking.”
4. “Hey you, yeah you. The one reading this. Wanna know a secret? You’re beautiful. Don’t ever give up.”
5. “If you can’t win an argument, start looking for grammatical mistakes.”
6. “Teamwork is important; it helps to put the blame on someone else.”
7. “My wallet is like onion, opening it makes me cry.”
8. “One wise guy invented mobile application Whatsapp and his wife added last seen feature. The rest is history.”

   

9. “For you, I would swim across the ocean. LOL, just kidding, there are sharks in there.”
10. “I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.”
11. “God is really creative, I mean. just look at me.”
12. “People say you can’t live without love, but I think oxygen is more important.”
13. “Life is too short don’t waste it by reading my WhatsApp status.”
14. “The best way to lie is, to tell the truth, carefully edited truth.”
15. “Hmm, this text message is a little too harsh, I’ll add LOL at the end.”
16. “If you are reading this then I’m sure you have nothing to do in your life.”
17. “Teachers call it cheating, students call it teamwork.”
18. “Always wear cute pajamas to bed you’ll never know who you will meet in your dreams.”
19. “I didn’t fall, It was just that the floor needed some cleaning.”
20. “It must be difficult to post inspirational status when your blood type is B Negative.”
21. “Never give up on your dreams. Keep Sleeping”
22. “People like you are the reason, people like me need meditation.”
23. “You are offended by the things I say? Imagine the things I hold back!”
24. “Words cannot express how much I don’t care.”
25. “Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.”

Funny One-Liners

1. “Say it to my face, not through your status.”
2. “Not always Available. Try your luck.”
3. “Kiss me and you will see how important I am.”
4. “People say you can’t live without love, but I think oxygen is more important.”
5. “I feel lazier than the guy who drew the Japanese flag.”
6. “I hate math, but I love counting money.”
7. “Battery low, please disturb later.”
8. “Status under construction. coming soon.”
9. “I speak two languages, Body and English.”
10. “I hate people who steal my ideas before I think of them.”
11. “If you can’t find the key to success, change the damn lock.”

    

12. “The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.”
13. “Life taught me lots of lessons, but I bunked those classes too.”
14. “I love buying new things but I hate spending money.”
15. “Why is abbreviation such a long word?”
16. “I love my job only when I am on Holiday.”
17. “I’m confused about being confused about confusing things that confuse me!”
18. “It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head, I’m quite busy.”
19. “WAIT! Do you have an appointment to see my status.”
20. “Opportunity knocks for every man, but you have to give a woman a ring.”
21. “Don’t make me mess your world up with the truth.”
22. “My humor is beyond your understanding. Isn’t that funny.”
23. “Never wrestle with a pig. You’ll both get dirty, and the pig likes it.”
24. “Oh Please. Don’t copy my status.”
25. “I don’t like morning people or morning or people!”

Keep reading for more funny status for whatsapp.

Funny Quotes

1. “Don’t play stupid with me, I’m better at it!”
2. “If couples who are in love are called LOVE BIRDS, then couples who always argue should be called ANGRY BIRDS.”
3. “Sorry, I can’t hang out. My uncle’s cousin’s brother in law’s best friend’s insurance agent’s roommate’s pet goldfish died. Maybe next time.”
4. “I want someone to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.”
5. “Once they stop talking to you, they start talking about you.”
6. “I wish my book of life was written in pencil. There are a few pages I would like to erase.”
7. “Young love is two hearts with only one thing in mind.”
8. “The hardest job facing kids today is to learn good manners without seeing any.”
9. “My Internet is down today. I think my neighbor forgot to pay the bill. They are irresponsible.”
10. “I wish my wallet came with free refills.”
11. “I really should do something with my life, hmmm maybe tomorrow.”
12. “70% of boys have girlfriends, but rest 30% of boys have a brain”
13. “Remember, when she cancels a date she has to But when he cancels a date he has two.”
14. “Do you realize that in about 40 years, we’ll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?

    

15. “Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
16. “Some people are such treasures that you really just wanna bury them.”
17. “I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative.”
18. “It’s not the fault of the mirror if you don’t like your reflection.”
19. “he human brain is amazing, It functions 24 hours a day from the time we were born, and only stops right at the moment we need it.”
20. “I was going to rob a bank today but the pen was chained to the desk.”
21. “If you’re born in the month of September, it is pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.”
22. “Running away does not help you with your problems unless you are fat.”
23. “Life is not a fairy tale, If you lose a shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.”
24. “Females are really funny creatures. They hate it when you ask their age but will kill you if you forget their birthdays.”
25. “I’m a sweet Lil girl, but if you make me mad, remember I always have a pocketful of crazy waiting to come out!!”

Also check – Whatsapp Status in English

Funny Quotes for Facebook

1. “I wish my book of life was written in pencil. There are a few pages I would like to erase.”
2. “I don’t have time to hate the people who hate me because I’m busy loving the people who love me.”
3. “I work for money, for loyalty to hire a Dog.”
4. “Out of my mind. BRB in five minutes.”
5. “Doing the moonwalk is the only way to look cool while wiping dog crap off your shoes.”
6. “The awkward moment when you know you shouldn`t laugh, but you do.”
7. “Made a list so that I wouldn’t forget anything, then I forgot where I put the list.”
8. “Money doesn`t bring happiness, but shopping does.”
9. “I’m going on a date with my pillow Goodnight.”
10. “I’m in shape. Round is a shape, isn’t it?”
11. “The awkward moment when you know you shouldn`t laugh, but you do.”
12. “I’ve found the recipe for happiness. Can someone just send me some money so that I can buy the ingredients?”
13. “I’ve gone out to find myself. If I should arrive before I get back, please ask me to wait.”
14. “I hate when people try so hard. Do you think you’re cute? Um, sorry to break it to you but you look like an ugly raccoon.”

    

15. “Don`t you know it`s rude to talk while I`m interrupting?”
16. “Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems but then again, neither does milk.”
17. “A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world.”
18. “I feel like I should clean the house, so I am going to lay down and nap until that feeling passes.”
19. “Facebook is the only place where you can talk to the wall.”
20. “I wish I had a delete button in my life. To delete some people, some memories, and some feelings.”
21. “I hate fake people. You know what I’m talking about. Mannequins.”
22. “I’m not 30, I’m 17 with 13 years of experience!”
23. “Inside every older person is a younger person – wondering what the hell happened.”
24. “I was gonna make you a rum cake but now I am drunk this is just a cake.”
25. “Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing!”
26. “Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer.”

I hope you are liking our collection of funny status for WhatsApp.

Cool Whatsapp Status

1. “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”
2. “The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep!”
3. “My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right.”
4. “If common sense is so common why is there so many people without it?”
5. “I am so poor, I can’t even pay attention.”
6. “If money grew on trees, then girls would be dating monkeys.”
7. “Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.”
8. “I have not failed, my success is just postponed for some time.”
9. “If the school has taught us anything, it’s texting without looking.”
10. “If time does not wait for you, don’t worry. Just remove the battery from the clock and enjoy life.”
11. “Knowledge is like underwear, important to have, but not necessary to show off.”
12. “Someone on his WhatsApp status ‘sleeping’ for three days. He probably dead.”
13. “I wonder what happens when the doctor’s wife eats an apple a day.”
14. “If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.”

    

15. “I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.”
16. “I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.”
17. “If you can’t convince them, confuse them.”
18. “If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.”
19. “When I call a family meeting I turn off the house wifi and wait for them all to come running.
20. “Waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn, the hardest thing in the world.”
21. “Seeing a spider in my room isn’t scary. It’s scary when it disappears.”
22. “I should have come with a manual. I confuse myself.”
23. “For you men who think a woman’s place is in the kitchen, remember that’s where the knives are kept.”
24. “It’s better to fail than to cheat but its better to cheat than to repeat.”
25. “At night, I can’t sleep. In the morning, I can’t wake up.”
26. “Friends are forever until they get in a relationship.”
27. “Dear Google, thank you for doing most of my homework for me.”
28. “Some people call me John, you can call me tonight.”
29. “I hate when people all of a sudden decide to be funny when I am drinking something.”
30. “God made everything that has life, rest everything is made in China.”
31. “I’m so happy for you, that you’ve got the most good-looking partner ever.”
32. “An easy way to tell people you don’t like them is to send them a Christmas card with glitter on it.”
33. “Today’s Relationships: You can touch each other but not each other’s phones.”
34. “If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either.”
35. “Whenever I have tough times in my life, I always ask you for solutions. Do you know why? Because I trust you more than Google!”

Need more Funny Status for Whatsapp?

Hope you liked our huge collection of funny status for WhatsApp and we also hope that these statuses made you laugh as well. We will keep bringing you more funny WhatsApp messages so you can make your friends and family laugh.

More Funny Status For Whatsapp Coming Soon

Also, these will make your personality look cool. So pickup up as many statuses and images you want and share them of Facebook, Whatsapp or Insta and be the funniest one in your group.

Also Check –

• DP for Whatsapp
• Short Status for Whatsapp
• Quotes for Girls